Somehow, it’s WTF Wednesday already….

In this week’s market research (otherwise known as “online shopping”), I discovered that another retro trend has reared its ugly head.

TIGERS.

Don’t get me wrong.  I was born in the year of the Tiger, so a subtle tiger print or accessory is not out of line.  But this shit is just not right.  Behold:

Tigers and flowers?

First of all, it’s summer, so sweaters = dumb.  Granted, I think ASOS does ship to the southern hemisphere, so maybe that’s why.  However, this print is baffling.  I just do not understand.  Also, I really hate dropped shoulders.

Tigers and sequins!

Also, this poor model, those shoes look like they’re cutting off the circulation to her ankles.

Tigers and fantasies.

It’s a FLYING TIGER.  Is this an actual band? Or is it more of Torrid’s made up poser band shit?  I also do not like the separated collar, because that means you have to wear some idiot strapless bra with a t-shirt that otherwise looks fairly comfortable.

More tigers tiptoeing through the hibiscus.

If you don’t look too closely, this is kinda cute…but I’m not entirely sold on this “fatkini” thing, because it caters to the idea that “curvy” or “plus size” is limited to the hourglass/pear shaped figure.

Tiger plus mixed prints and a fanny pack.

This is called “lioness.”  Didn’t we all learn in like, preschool that TIGERS have stripes?  Also, the horrible colorblocking and that fucking tassel and the fanny pack accessory?

Stick a fork in me, I’m done.