WTF Wednesday: Distressed by Denim

Welcome again to WTF Wednesday, where we see what steaming piles of bullshit the fashion industry is trying to sell us this week.

I’ve made my position clear: I am officially over distressed denim.  Nevertheless, it continues to be a thing.  For example, Torrid had 41 pairs available.  I found this pair to be the most horrible:

It looks like her dog ate her pants.


Alas, Torrid is far from the only offender.  ASOS Curve has its share of nope jeans:

Big Holes. YUGE.


But I will give them some credit for the brand name:  “Liquor & Poker.”

Avenue’s “little sister” (read: if you’re really super fat, you can’t have the cutest stuff) brand, Loralette, has some similar bullshit:

Medium Wash? Not on My Home Planet.


Despite the fact that the above jeans look like shit you should pay $3 for at Value Village, at least they’re a faded look where you believe the holes could be natural wear and tear.


However, it’s almost worse when they put like, 2 holes on a pair of jeans with tummy control:

Old Navy, You Used to Not Suck at Jeans

Smooth & Slim High-Rise Plus-Size Rockstar Jeans - Sunbleached

They just don’t even blend in.  Those jeans are pristine.  The holes really make you look like a poser.

Torrid has a similar pair, in an even darker wash:

Two Tiny Holes to Make You Trendy!


Of course, Lane Bryant never lets me down when it comes to fugly things.  They used to be my jam, but now they are dead to me.  They only make pretty bras up to about a 44 band size, but their bra page claims !!78 SIZES!! 32-50 Band B-H CUP!!.  Lies.  They make like three bras in the larger sizes and they only come in black and white.  Obviously, we do not deserve pretty colors.  When I pointed this out to them on Instagram, as a comment to one of their “plus is beautiful blah blah blah allegedly body positive” posts (that was gushing about their bra size range), this was the response I got:

crotchlessyogapants How super that all the ones above a 46 band size have no underwires and come in black, white, and beige. How about treating all sizes EQUALLY instead of deciding that only smaller customers deserve the pretty stuff?

The next exchange went similarly:

crotchlessyogapants …….AAAAAND this one doesn’t come in a 48 or 50 band size either. Seriously. Way to make a woman feel ignored. And ugly.

  • lanebryant@crotchlessyogapants We believe everyone deserves to shine and we’re sorry to see you’re disappointed. We do offer band extenders that may work for you. TY

This redlined my bullshit meter.  I’ve been bitching about the bra sizes via email and otherwise for literally years.  Basically, “get an extender fatty, we have no plans to include you.”  I’ve had it with this crap.  I’ve also had it with the fact that every one of their models is a 14/16 hourglass.  They’ve tried so many “new” things, but they have no focus, and I think the real problem is this:  now that they’re not the only game in town for plus-size shoppers, they have no idea what to do.

Anyway, on to the final fugly item for this post:

More chewed-looking hems.


I just want regular jeans.  Maybe a little flower embroidery or some patches or embellishments….but holes are not embellishments.  They’re just ugly.

2 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday: Distressed by Denim

  1. I don’t mind certain deconstruction. It has to be well-placed and look a certain way. I appreciate the lived in, laid-back look of a lot of it, but as you have shown, a lot of places get it wrong too. I do not like these new unfinished hems at all. I do not like lighter washes. I would LOVE to see more embroidery and beading and the like.
    I actually tried on the last LB pair you have in this post when I was at the store a couple weeks ago. I saw some bloggers wear them and they looked super cute. I tried on a 24 and they fit. The thighs and butt were GREAT. My ass looked AMAZING in them. I took photos. Sean took photos. LOL However, the waist was SO TIGHT it gave me a big ole muffin top, and the unfinished hem had a very Huckleberry Finn vibe to it that I absolutely hated. Plus, what is with the high-low unfinished hem? I can’t stand it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s